


A Day Together

by SourChemi



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Universe, Feelings Realization, First Dates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I mean I think some parts are funny, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, POV Sylvain Jose Gautier, POV Third Person Limited, Some Humor, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Felix Hugo Fraldarius - Freeform, and believe me it is VERY minor angst, minor angst/comfort, sylvix - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21755011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourChemi/pseuds/SourChemi
Summary: Sylvain hit on Felix. Completely by accident, of course. He was being an idiot by hitting on someone when he couldn't quite see them.But he just couldn't get over the look on Felix's face.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 19
Kudos: 187





	1. A Fateful Mistake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Absolute_boonit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolute_boonit/gifts).



> Sometimes you just need to indulge in a little fluff and you are SO valid. Also, dedicated to Absolute_boonit for helping me with my terrible writing

It was odd that familiar things would always blend into the background, seamlessly integrating themselves into routines. So much so that it was hard to single out without prompting. Sometimes, however, the slightest thing would change. It would stick out like a sore thumb. It became impossible to ignore because it was just so natural to ask, “why is this different?” This familiar thing was no longer _familiar_ , and no longer fit into the spot it had belonged to for such a long time. What was it? Why did it change? Where does it belong now? Most of the time, it wasn’t that it had _changed_. Rather, people were simply forced to examine it again after some time had passed. A lot of things would become unfamiliar with the unending flow of time, because _people_ would change. It was almost like viewing it as an entirely different person to find that it had never been what the initial appraisal deemed it to be.

Sylvain realized that this line of thinking was getting far too convoluted. This was really just a long-winded way to try and justify the feelings that hit him after his major fuck up.

He had run into the entrance hall after being caught out in the storm at night. To his surprise, he saw a dark-haired girl with her back facing him at the other side of the room, wrapped up in a long towel that engulfed her small frame. He still couldn’t figure out what prompted him to call out before even seeing her face, but for some inexplicable reason, he was just captivated by the way the long, silky locks of hair cascaded down despite their run in with the rain. Hitting on someone before getting a full look at them never went well for him, but she was already heading out the doors. He quickened his pace and called out to her just before he caught up, too impatient to wait. He couldn’t even remember what he said exactly, but he knew his go to was to just call them cutie or babe or some other term of endearment, so he asked them to dinner along with it. Nothing prepared him for the next few seconds.

_Felix_ whirled around. Sylvain just hadn’t recognized him because his uniform had been covered by the towel and he had his hair down to dry it. 

The most shocking thing wasn’t his spotty vision after a rather painful headbutt. He _absolutely_ deserved that. No, the shocking thing was that for a split second before Felix’s face warped to one of absolute rage, Sylvain caught a glimpse of an expression he had never seen before. There was a look of surprise, obviously, but the other emotion was one he couldn’t quite place his finger on. His breath hitched and he felt a blush creep up to his cheeks the moment it appeared. It absolutely could have just been because of the fear and embarrassment, but something from the depths of his mind told him it was something else entirely. Something familiar that he was now seeing differently. This was all but lost on him though; all he knew was that he desperately wanted to see it again.

\-----------------------------

“Sylvain, can I speak with you for a moment?”

Ah, he was caught. Sylvain had skipped out on training once again to go out into town. Not with a girl this time, however. As crazy as it sounded, he just wasn’t interested lately. Casually raising his arms and resting his hands at the back of his head, he turned to greet Dimitri. “Well, hello to you too. What’s up?”

“Did you do something to anger Felix?”

Sylvain was a little startled by the sudden mention of Felix. He had a pretty good feeling that the jaded swordsman was avoiding him since the… _incident_ , a week ago. This was new as well, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t bothering him. They’d bickered in the past, but they would be back by each other’s side in a matter of minutes. This change was a little daunting, but Sylvain tried his best to keep up his nonchalant tone. “Depends. Why?”

“He’s been… Really harsh lately.”

“Ha! That’s just how he is,” That much was true, but it absolutely checked out that Felix would be a little easier to aggravate after that. Guilt was beginning to rear its head as Sylvain shifted his weight nervously, but he covered it up with a crooked smile. It was his go-to move to avoid incriminating himself. “You of all people should know that.”

Dimitri didn’t buy it for a second; he looked at Sylvain sternly and the guilt tripled. “I’m aware that he’s not particularly fond of me anymore, but he’s been snapping more at the other students as well. He’s also been skipping quite a lot more classes lately. I was speaking with Ingrid about it and she was certain it was because of something you did.”

Sylvain rolled his eyes but knew that Ingrid had every reason to think that. “Fine. He’s pissed at me. But I swear to the Goddess that I _have_ apologized about it. I’m sure this will blow over in a while, so don’t worry.” His voice trailed off at the end, and the reassurance seemed to be more for himself than anything.

Dimitri eyed Sylvain up and down warily but shot him a small smile back after a moment of consideration. “Well, I hope for your sake that you’re right.”

“You and me both.” 

The rest of the day flew by before Sylvain even realized it. He had been wandering in a bit of a haze these last few days, unsure what to do without Felix around. It made him realize just how much he depended on him and how integral he was to his everyday routine. He tried to fill in the gaps with a couple of dates but gave up after he found that his thoughts would drift back to worrying about his snarky friend. It was a little troubling to say that he actually missed the constant bickering. It was even _more_ troubling to say that he simply missed _Felix_. 

Throughout the week, Sylvain only caught glimpses of Felix. It became pretty clear that he was actively trying to avoid Sylvain after a particular encounter; he walked into the dining hall and saw Felix come in from the other entrance, but when they made eye contact, Felix turned on his heel and marched straight back out. He had to admit, that one stung a little.

Sylvain felt like a lost puppy, desperately trying to spot the person he usually followed around, and this left him thinking about how the tables had turned in the last few years. When they were children, _Felix_ was the one who followed Sylvain around. Felix was a bit of a crybaby back then, but he was just as easy to cheer up. His big, unsure eyes were always affixed on Sylvain, threatening to spill tears at the slightest provocation. It made him feel special to be relied on by this small, meek, adorable boy, and Sylvain became a little protective because of it, causing that dynamic to continue as they grew up. They were incredibly close; they even made a promise to each other meant to last for the rest of their lives. Although it was a little macabre for a vow that kids made, they’d promised that they would stick together until they died.

Sylvain didn’t know how he got to standing in front of Felix’s door in the middle of his contemplating, but he was there, fidgeting with his shirt collar nervously. Their rooms were pretty close to each other, so he just came to an abrupt stop while heading to his. He also didn’t know why he faltered when he went to knock on the door as he had done hundreds of times before. Well, that was a lie. He had a hunch; that image of Felix’s inscrutable expression was burned into his mind and, every damn time, it left him out of commission. His hesitance was stretching on to the point where it got ridiculous so, finally, after letting out a deep and shaky breath, he tentatively knocked on the door. There wasn’t a response, so he knocked again, growing increasingly worried because Felix always holed up in his room after supper. After a knocking for the third time, Sylvain exasperatedly tried the door handle and found it to be unlocked. 

He carefully stepped into the room and spotted Felix sitting at his desk with a textbook. Those sharp, brown eyes darted up to meet Sylvain’s, but he didn’t bother turning his head. Within a second, his eyes flitted back, and he returned his attention to his book. Turning a page, he grunted, “what do you want?” 

Sylvain felt so relieved to see Felix again that he nearly walked over and hugged him. That probably would’ve earned him a black eye, but at this point, he might say it would’ve been worth it. “Awh, Felix, you wound me. Can’t I just visit my _dearest_ friend?” Sylvain chuckled a little at the snarky greeting, but he was still incredibly nervous, especially after that sudden and dangerous urge to _hug_ the most abrasive person he’d ever known. After a while, he realized that Felix seemed to have no intention of replying; Sylvain sighed and he crossed the room to take a seat on the edge of the bed, settling in for what he assumed would be a very long wait. Something told him that Felix had to be the one to initiate if Sylvain wanted to have a conversation. Afterall, it seemed like he had known Sylvain was the one knocking on his door, and still chose not to open it.

So, he waited.

They sat together in silence with only the occasional sound of a page being turned to disrupt the peace, so Sylvain took this time to look around the nearly barren room, and he frowned a little at the sight. It seemed like Felix had gotten rid of most of his non-essential belongings. The other students liked to have a thing or two to make their dorms feel like home, but there was nothing like that in here. There was, however, a small pile of weapons at the corner of the room, gleaming from constant maintenance. He felt a slight tug in his chest as he stared at them, eyes running up and down the sharp steel. A quiet sadness washed over him as he realized that these things affirmed Felix’s change after… He’d known before this, of course, but it was like he was _finally_ seeing it and being forced to accept that the meek, teary eyed boy he grew up with wasn’t with him anymore. He knew the reason for this change. Everyone did. But the reason was something they never spoke of. Or perhaps, it would be more accurate to say _someone_ they never spoke of. 

A long sigh dragged out of Felix as he leaned back in his chair, turning his head ever so slightly to peek over his shoulder. Sylvain was relieved to see those tired eyes affixed on him again. For a little while, Felix simply stared at him with a solemn gaze, so he tried to keep up his easy-going smile. As the time crawled on, a constricting feeling in his chest was slowly becoming unbearable, but Felix finally broke his silence. “Why did you come here?”

“To apologize again, I guess?” Sylvain chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly not knowing where to put his hands. “Since it seemed like you’ve been avoiding me.”

There was no response and Sylvain felt small under Felix’s cold, hard stare. He’d usually joke around to lighten the mood, but the words just wouldn’t come out of his throat. Something about this screamed at him to be serious for once. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m really sorry, Felix. I really am. I didn’t mean to… uh…” The absurdity of what he did hit him again, and he had to stifle an incredulous laugh. He’d hit on _Felix_ , of all people, because of his brashness and poor judgement. That simple, laughable mistake led to uncharted territories that he was desperately trying to weave through. 

“I know you didn’t _mean_ to,” Felix said with a scowl, finally turning in his chair to fully face Sylvain and causing a wayward heartbeat to startle him. “I’m angry because you-“

There was a beat of silence as Felix’s brows furrowed in confusion. Sylvain initially figured that he had just wounded Felix’s pride, but now it seemed like there was more to it. Hesitantly, Sylvain pressed on. “Because I…?”

“Why-“ then another pause. Felix looked so _distressed_. As Sylvain was nervously contemplating whether or not to console him, Felix groaned in frustration and ran a hand down his face, rubbing his eyes. His voice dropped to a whisper and Sylvain barely heard what he murmured; it seemed to be more to himself. “Why _am_ I angry?”

Sylvain kept his mouth shut as Felix sighed for the umpteenth time. He felt so guilty that he was making his friend upset, and he knew this because Felix was right back to averting his gaze.

“Nevermind. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.” The dark-haired boy muttered before turning back to his book.

This wasn’t the greatest resolution, but at the very least, Felix wouldn’t be avoiding him anymore. Sylvain let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and relaxed into his seat. Being ignored for that long wasn’t good for his heart. However, now that this was done with, he didn’t really know what to do next. He definitely didn’t want to leave right away because it was nice being in Felix’s company; they’d known each other their entire lives, so there were no tiring facades to keep up in this separate space of theirs. He knew his friend wouldn’t be all that excited about him staying, but Felix _did_ say that he could do whatever he wanted. He wanted to stay.

Sylvain got up from the bed and began investigating the room; there _had_ to be something in here other than swords. He poked around the shelves and only found a couple of textbooks that were collecting dust. Unsatisfied with the lack of interesting belongings, he hummed absentmindedly as he pulled open a drawer.

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“How do you live like this?” Sylvain ignored Felix’s glare and frowned as he pulled out one of five white shirts given to them by the Officers Academy. Did he really not have anything other than these? They had to wear uniforms, sure, but students were free to wear whatever they wanted for trips into town and such. Suddenly, a horrifying thought occurred to him, causing his eyes to widen as they met Felix’s gaze. “Have you _never_ left the monastery since we enrolled here?”

Felix snatched the shirt away from him with a scowl, folding it back up neatly to tuck it into the practically empty drawer. “Don’t be dense. I just don’t see the reason why I have to have a separate wardrobe to go into town.”

“C’mon, don’t be like that,” Sylvain lightly leaned up against Felix which earned another scowl, but he didn’t let up and instead slung an arm around his shoulders. Felix turned his face away when he did this, and Sylvain felt his heart sink a little. He was determined to see this through, however. Felix was so tense all the time; some time to enjoy himself would be good. Even now, as Sylvain was standing next to him, he felt Felix tense up. “I’ll take you down there personally. I know a couple of great places to eat at. Oh! There’s absolutely no way I’m letting you wear this shitty uniform,” Sylvain tugged the collar of Felix’s shirt to make his point, but felt him flinch. Surprised, he stopped his hand and tried to shake off a disappointing feeling. “Knowing the sad state of your closet, you’ll have to borrow some of my clothes.”

Still refusing to turn his head, Felix muttered, “are you still fucking around about this? I told you that I don’t care about what happened so quit trying to make up for it. Just being _hit_ on was more than enough.”

A chuckle escaped Sylvain and he patted Felix’s shoulder with his other hand. Before he could help it, he lightly placed a finger under Felix’s chin, lifting his head slightly as he leaned in to coo in a teasing voice, “more than enough? What, did it work or something?”

The reaction that comment pulled out of Felix felt like a punch to the gut. Sure, he was actually punched in the gut, but he got a much clearer view of Felix’s face when he turned to confront Sylvain. Nose to nose, he saw that fascinating and confusing expression again. Felix’s brown eyes were widened, mouth slightly parted, and a blush was painted across his face from the tips of his ears. Sylvain didn’t know how, but as he thought about how captivating it was to look at, he forgot how to breath. Through this, he finally had a hint as to what that expression could mean. 

Felix was _flustered_.

Immediately after that realization, Sylvain was doubled over and letting out a grunt of pain. Yeah, he had that coming. As his mind ran through all the possible reasons why Felix was becoming flustered, there was this wall that refused to let him acknowledge it any further. He had an inkling that he knew the answer, but he wasn’t quite ready to see it. Now, Felix wasn’t one to pull punches, but Sylvain was used to that. After the momentary pause to recover from being punched, he let out an airy laugh to get rid of some of the tension that had filled the room. Meanwhile, he saw Felix pinch the bridge of his nose and huff, discreetly trying to cover up his flushed face. It was no use though; the view was practically embedded in Sylvain’s mind already. He cleared his throat and said in a joking tone, “I wont lie; that wasn’t the worst rejection I’ve had.”

“Oh, I’m certain it wasn’t,” Felix muttered with a gruff tone as he sat back down at his desk. “Seriously, stop messing around.”

Sylvain bit back another teasing remark. As much as he would have loved to continue pulling those reactions out from him, that was probably more than Felix could handle for today. Standing next to him at the desk and gently placing his hand on Felix’s shoulder, Sylvain felt a stupid grin appear on his face when he didn’t protest. Felix peered up at him warily through his lashes, not bothering to tilt his head up the whole way. This time, Sylvain was the one to look away, not wanting Felix to see the dumb expression he knew he was making. “I wasn’t kidding about going into town though, Felix. I think you deserve to take a break.”

“Last time you told me to come along, you just wanted to pick up girls on the way. Your fucking selling point was that you would find a girl for me.”

Ah. Of course. Sylvain couldn’t even remember it, but it definitely sounded like something he would do. He scrunched up his face at the thought of trying to find a girl for Felix. Was that even possible? Who could ever put up with the constant insults and squabbles other than Sylvain? Suddenly, his mind was reeling; that last thought was really strange and confusing. Despite how distressed he was, it did remind him that he hadn’t really been going out lately. Maybe he learned his lesson after… Well, last week. 

“I swear to the Goddess that I will be entirely focused on you having the time of your life.”

Felix let out bark of laughter that caused the smile on Sylvain’s face to bloom into a full-blown grin. “ _Time of my life?_ A bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think? Besides, I highly doubt that you’d be able to keep your eyes off of girls while we’re down there.”

“Oh? Do you not believe me?” bending down slightly so that their eyes were leveled, Sylvain tilted his head slightly and smirked at him. “Is this a challenge? If so, you’re on, and I want you to prove to me that you’re capable of doing literally anything other than sword fighting.”

After a while of mulling it over, Felix looked back at him intently with a slight gleam of competitiveness in his eyes. “What’s in it for me?” Of course. He should’ve known that Felix Hugo Fraldarius couldn’t back down from a challenge. 

“Is my company not enough?” Sylvain pouted a little and Felix rolled his eyes. “Fine. I won’t ever force you to go into town with me ever again.”

“Alright, I can accept those terms.”

“Ah, wait a second. What’s in it for _me_?”

Mockingly, Felix uttered back, “is my company not enough?” earning a hearty laugh from Sylvain. Though his company _would_ be enough, Sylvain wasn’t about to admit that out loud. Quite some time passed as Felix tried to come up with something plausible. During this, Sylvain noticed that Felix was humming slightly while thinking, which he always found to be somewhat endearing. Felix had no idea he did this. There were no plans to let him know, however; he would undoubtedly stop if it was brought to attention.

“You know what? I’ve got an idea,” Sylvain broke the silence and nudged for Felix’s attention. “Just give me something at the end of the day if you lose. There’s a lot of nice shops down there.”

Felix’s brows furrowed as if to say, “really? That’s it?” but he nodded. It was a little embarrassing, but Sylvain was _ecstatic_ ; it had been quite a while since they’d done something like this together. They could go tomorrow since it was the weekend, so it would be happening a lot sooner than he thought. Felix agreed to stop by Sylvain’s room to borrow some clothes in the morning, but this was difficult to plan because _someone_ was infuriatingly stubborn. Then, once in town, they would wander around and figure it out as they went. Sylvain wasn’t going to tell Felix this, but he had a bit of a route planned out already. They’d known each other for their entire lives, so he knew his friend’s interests like the back of his hand. This was something he was pretty proud of; he always tried his best to show people a good time. Planning these things out, even if it was just a vague outline, was the natural thing to do to ensure that the other person enjoyed the date.

…date?

Did Sylvain just let himself think of this as a _date?_

It was like he was suddenly thrown into a fire. He felt his face burn up, and this incredible warmth spread throughout his chest, his heart beating at such a fast pace that he didn’t know if it was actually _beating_. Forget whatever reaction Felix had; what the hell was happening to _him?_ He’d _never_ had a response like this when he planned out _actual_ dates with girls. Sure, every once in a while he would genuinely be interested in a girl and have that little fluttery feeling in his stomach, but this? This was so much more _intense_. If he wasn’t holding onto Felix’s shoulder, he would’ve crumpled to the ground from feeling these suppressed emotions all at once. How long? How long had he been like this? Ignoring it?

This was a crisis. Sylvain was having a crisis. And he finally knew why.

He was absolutely enamoured.

With _Felix_.


	2. Turtlenecks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Give turtlenecks a chance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want all of you to know that I write these in Word in Comic Sans like a dignified girl

The next night was insufferable. Sylvain laid stiff in his bed with eyes wide open, playing the things he said and felt over and over again. No matter how he tried to spin it, he ended up at the same conclusion every time; he wasn’t exaggerating when he thought he’d never experienced anything like this before. It was gut wrenching and suffocating, which sounded bad, but all the words he could think of that best described the feelings had negative connotations. As turbulent as they were, these feelings were exhilarating and addictive. The initial, intense thrill was always replaced with a softer, much more comforting familiarity that soothed his frantic heart. Despite how it jeopardised his and Felix’s friendship, he felt like that tenderness was worth seeking out. 

It wasn’t like he was in _love_. That would be a little dramatic. It was clear, however, that this was the start of something new and exciting and scary. There was also the possibility that this had been simmering for a long, long time, but the implication that he’d spent so many years ignoring something like this was troubling, to say the least. If that were the case, it meant he’d wasted more than a decade burning through fling after fling thinking that was perfectly normal. Doing anything to have some short-lived fun hadn’t ever bothered him… until now.

It was terrifying that he didn’t know how Felix would react to all of this, that is, if he could even bring himself to express these sentiments; Felix’s gaze turned Sylvain into a bumbling mess. His attempts to voice any sort of affection was a struggle because one side of him wanted to scream it out while the other desperately clawed the words back in. Not to mention that Felix had to put up with his constant flirting for years, so it was very unlikely that his words would be taken to heart. That flowery language he’d relied on for so long would be nothing but empty flattery. 

Miraculously, even with these thoughts hounding him late into the night, he managed to drift off to sleep.

\----------

“It looks _ridiculous_.”

“It looks _fine_ , Felix. Seriously, just pick a damn shirt. I’m withering away over here.” The floor of Sylvain’s room was covered with discarded clothing and he was starting to wonder if there was a floor to begin with.

“A turtleneck, Sylvain?” Felix looked at him incredulously, folding his arms over his chest after dropping the shirt in a pile of rejects. Sylvain eyed the pile with a weary smile, internally dreading the hour he would spend that night cleaning. “I’m not wearing a fucking turtleneck.”

“What do you have against them? _I_ like it. It’s a good look.” Truthfully, Sylvain never wore that shirt. It was a gift or something, but it was exiled to the back of the closet because it wasn’t really his style. He only gave it to Felix because he was sure it would look good on him. That, and he couldn’t pass over the chance to see the most aggro boy in the world in a cute turtleneck. 

“Oh, my mistake. I couldn’t really tell since your outfits are mostly comprised of shirts with _half the buttons undone_.” Felix raised a brow at him and flitted his eyes down to the collar of Sylvain’s shirt, which was undoubtedly undone.

“Hey, cut me some slack,” dipping his head down slightly to intercept Felix’s gaze, Sylvain pouted at him as he said, “I only left _three_ unbuttoned this time.” He watched with a satisfied grin as Felix struggled to keep up his exasperated act. He was desperately trying to hide the fact that the corners of his mouth were tugging up by using his hand to obscure it. Even though Felix hid it right away, the smile was a sight for sore eyes. Sylvain could finally take the time to appreciate it because, unlike the last couple of times, he was sitting comfortably in Felix’s presence. His nerves had settled down in the last hour or so as he contently watched Felix complain. Those complaints were completely unfounded, however; the dark-haired swordsman looked good in everything he’d tried on so far.

“Three-“ Felix coughed to cover up a laugh and Sylvain rolled his eyes. “-is still too many.”

Without missing a beat, Sylvain dramatically gasped as if he was bitterly insulted and quipped, “it’s not _my_ fault people let their eyes wander.“ 

_“Whore.”_

_“Prude.”_

They tried to glare at each other but couldn’t keep it up for long. Sylvain let out a small laugh while Felix hid a smile behind his hand. “Okay, in all seriousness,” Sylvain got up from where he was sitting and plucked the dark blue shirt off of the pile. Once he dusted it off slightly, he turned to Felix and held it up in front of him. “This is definitely what you should wear.”

“No.”

There was no way Sylvain wasn’t going to make this happen. “Just once! You don’t have to wear it out, just try it on and see if you like it or not!”

“…Fine.” After the shirt was snatched away, Felix turned around and shrugged off his vest. Before Sylvain’s useless brain could register what was happening, Felix’s nimble hands were working away at the buttons of his shirt. Sylvain, for whatever reason, felt panicked about just watching him change, so he averted his gaze. It shouldn’t have been a such a big deal since they’d changed in front of each other before, but he was concerned that his intentions weren’t _good_ anymore, which sounded idiotic even to him. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Felix sigh and mutter, “I feel like an idiot.”

Sylvain took a hesitant peek in Felix’s direction. Thankfully, he was now wearing the navy turtleneck but picking at it with disdain. A sharp breath escaped Sylvain as his eyes drank in the view. Usually, if he saw something he liked, he could effortlessly go and strike up a flirty conversation, which was how the _incident_ happened. This, though? He wasn’t even sure if he had the privilege to see Felix like this, much less try and hit on him. He was _so_ right when he thought Felix would look good in it. Sylvain’s clothes were a little too big for him, but the sleeves hanging just past his wrists, the collar meant to fit around his neck crumpled open due to it being too loose, just made it a hundred times better. When he was done gawking, he didn’t know how to verbally react without giving anything away. 

“Can you stop _staring_ at me?” Felix narrowed his eyes at Sylvain, jostling him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, it’s just,” Sylvain felt winded as his heart started racing. His face was warming up as he struggled to figure out what he could say. He didn’t want to be obvious that he was flustered, but his mind was screaming at him to say _disgustingly_ sweet things to Felix. Somehow, he had to find a balance between nonchalant and heartsick compliments, which was one he clearly could not achieve, exhibited with, “you look… good.”

“What was that pause for?!” Yeah, that reaction was warranted. Felix’s eyes widened as he self-consciously crossed his arms and shrunk back, unable to hide his budding panic.

“Nothing! I swear to the Goddess, it was nothing!” Sylvain laughed nervously and looked away to avoid showing his face, pulling a move out of Felix’s book. “It looks good on you!”

“You _literally_ can’t look at me right now!”

The blush was adamantly spreading through Sylvain’s face and he swore at himself under his breath. He realized he needed to fix this before Felix delayed their date for another hour of outfit picking. Or, even worse, before Felix decided _not_ to wear that shirt.

Sylvain drew in a sharp breath and turned his head to face Felix. When he saw a matching blush strewn across the other boy’s face, it just drove the flutter in his chest mad and he forgot how to breathe. Their eyes met and he felt like his chest was screaming at him, half begging for air and half begging for _Felix_. Knowing just how ridiculous it was that this rendered him speechless, he pushed himself to say all in one breath, “ _it looks infuriatingly good on you and I’m sort of pissed that I’ve never seen you like this before and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous._ ” 

The air was so thick with tension that it was suffocating. As they avoided each other’s gaze, Sylvain was tempted to bury his face in his hands and sink to the ground from embarrassment. What he just said could barely count as flirting, or even a compliment. In the past, he could keep a straight face while spouting an endless spring of romantic bullshit; and quite frankly, he’d said _so much_ worse when he flirted with girls. Yet here he was, hopelessly trying to calm his frantic heart in front of someone he genuinely wanted to impress, unable to sputter out his usual suave recoveries. Something needed to be done to get rid of the awkward atmosphere. 

Taking a long-awaited deep breath to sober up, Sylvain stepped closer to Felix, leaving very little room between them as they were already at an arm’s length beforehand. Felix’s head was still turned away, but he could see how the other’s boy’s lips were pressed tightly together in agitation. Biting through his nerves he brought his unsteady hands down on Felix’s shoulders. For a second, they just helplessly held each other’s gaze with a matching shade of red across their cheeks, waiting for _something_ to happen. 

Then he grabbed the long collar of Felix’s shirt and pulled it over his head.

Even in a state where he was quite literally blinded, Felix landed an unfeasibly strong jab to his shoulder. Sylvain paid it no mind, however. He was laughing uncontrollably at the result of his dumb stunt, though it was largely in part to cover up how flustered he got from the expression on Felix’s face. They were so _close_ , he could’ve so easily closed the gap between them. As the very angry boy tugged down the collar, Sylvain had to snap out of his troubling fantasy and dart out the door to make his escape. When he looked over his shoulder to ensure that Felix was chasing him through the courtyard, he stopped suddenly, causing the other boy to crash into him unceremoniously. Felix recovered extremely quick, however, and his hands were now barely restrained in the air by Sylvain, who had a hold of his wrists to avoid more assaults.

It was, in all honesty, a losing battle for Sylvain. He was evenly matched in strength, but the proximity of Felix and the softness of his wrists was going to bring about Sylvain’s demise. So, as Felix nearly pried his hands away to hit him, he nervously exclaimed, “Felix, you made it outside wearing literally anything other than your uniform!”

Felix paused, his livid expression flickering with realization as his arms relaxed. He looked around a little nervously, and Sylvain wondered for a moment if he didn’t wear things out because he was self conscious. There was no reason to be, at least, according to the idiot who was completely infatuated with him. Even when he was angry, Sylvain could stare back at him starry-eyed. As Felix composed himself, they both realized that Sylvain was still gripped onto his wrists. Against his better judgement, Sylvain lingered for a moment before letting go, but missed the warmth the moment they parted.

Felix ran a hand through his thoroughly dishevelled hair and undid the tie to fix it, causing Sylvain’s breath to hitch It wasn’t quite that he preferred Felix’s hair to be down, rather, it was just so out of character. He was all about efficiency in swordsmanship and yet, here he was, with silky black hair delicately dripped over his shoulders; there was no doubt it would be a hinderance in fighting if it came loose. However, he would quickly pull it back into a knot to keep it out of the way rather than cutting it short. As he held tie in his mouth while gathering up locks of hair, Sylvain could only watch on with a flustered smile. The unexpected care in the way he handled it was mesmerizing to look at. Felix noticed him staring and blushed, covering it with a scowl before mumbling through the tie, “you’re such an asshole, you know that?” 

“Yes, you tell me every day,” Sylvain was caught off for a moment because he was so lost in thought, but he managed to recover with a cheeky grin. “Besides, I had a feeling I’d have to go through a lot of trouble to get you to step outside in it. Trying to convince you to wear it was exhausting enough,” Felix scoffed and dropped his hands down to his side after putting his hair up. However, as Sylvain went to say something, he noticed Felix tug up his sleeve and tentatively rub the spot on his wrist that Sylvain had grabbed onto. He couldn’t see anything wrong with it but got worried regardless and murmured, “wait, did I hurt you?”

“What? No. As if that would hurt me,” Felix swatted Sylvain’s hand away when he tried to check. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”

Sylvain didn’t know why Felix reacted that way, but he let go of it and chuckled, “You’re not excited about going into town with me?” placing a hand over his chest in mock hurt. Meanwhile, Felix didn’t even bother looking in his general direction before heading toward the gates. “Fe, how could you be so cruel?”

“You wouldn’t want to hear my answer,” Felix glared at him over his shoulder while Sylvain trailed behind him. He vaguely felt like a lost puppy again. “Also, _don’t ever call me that again_.” 

“Okay, so no-go on that nickname,” Sylvain jogged up next to him and leaned in slightly, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “What about Li-“

“If you want to keep walking, don’t finish that.”

“Alright, fine,” They fell into an even pace as Sylvain hummed thoughtfully. “Okay, well, how about you think of some for me?”

Felix gave him an irritated sidelong glance, but to Sylvain’s surprise, he actually seemed to be mulling it over. His brows furrowed in thought for a moment before they relaxed, and he looked over at Sylvain with a smirk. 

“Vain.”

“Please don’t ever call me that.”

\----------

The town was a good 30-minute walk from the monastery, and so Sylvain was a little nervous about how to fill up that time. Usually, it would be him chattering away while Felix gave one-word answers or no answers at all. It never bothered him. Until now. He always knew what to say to humour or annoy Felix, but it became complicated with these new feelings welling in his chest. He didn’t want Felix to know and wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from being obvious about it. Despite this, it was clear that his heart had other plans, literally and metaphorically. It was as if his brain shut off at the slightest contact and his heart took over, unhelpfully knocking the air out of his lungs and constricting his chest. However, if Sylvain truly wanted this feeling to stop, he would’ve stopped putting himself in these situations with Felix. It was troubling that he was actively seeking out something that made him flip between malfunctioning from the slightest skin contact to boldly teasing the other boy to see him get flustered. Even now, as Sylvain walked beside Felix, all of his senses were screaming at him to grab the hand that was lightly brushing up against his. 

Normally, in these situations, Sylvain would have no problem just saying or doing romantic things. If he was rejected, it wouldn’t be a big deal. He’d just try again later or find another girl. But, as he peered over to the boy next to him, his mind was filled to the brim with sweet sentiments and crushing doubts; he so desperately wanted to reach out, nonchalantly take Felix’s hand into his, and be able to comfortably call this a date. It made him wonder; was he was only confident and flirty in the past because there was nothing weighing down on his mind? Were there no feelings involved those flings to make him question or regret anything he ever said or did?

A sudden smack on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts. When he blinked the fog out of his eyes, he found Felix’s piercing gaze trained on him. Sylvain looked back at him with a small, confused smile, at which Felix let out an exasperated sigh and asked, “Did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry,” Sylvain let out an airy laugh and turned his head away, slightly embarrassed that he had been thinking about Felix for who knows how long. “What is it?”

“Nothing. You’ve… just been really quiet.” This prompted Sylvain to turn his head back to the other boy immediately, brows furrowed in confusion. Felix’s lips pressed together in a thin frown as he muttered, “it’s weird.”

“Weird that I’m not talking?” This was exactly what he was worried about. It was completely unlike him to not pester Felix, but he’d let himself get lost in thought. Quickly, he thought up of a reason. “I thought you’d get annoyed. And, I _did_ tell you that the whole day would be about you, so I’m just trying not to step on your toes.”

“Really? What was all that bullshit with the turtleneck and nicknames earlier then?” Felix scoffed and rolled his eyes. He tried to look irritated, but the next thing he said was quiet and laced with embarrassment. “You don’t have to take it that far. It’s just… I’m not used to it.”

“Oh?” Sylvain’s breath got caught in his throat. Despite how his face was slightly flushed, he took a step ahead of them and lowered his head to Felix’s eye level with a smug look. “Is this your terrible way of saying you actually _like_ it when I talk?”

It was answered with another scoff and a mumbled, “don’t flatter yourself,” but his heart fluttered anyway. Felix eyed him warily, but his gaze softened ever so slightly when he saw the smile on Sylvain’s face, and a playful comment died in Sylvain’s throat as their eyes locked onto each other. The moment didn’t last long, but it set off an intense rush of nostalgia that nearly made Sylvain stagger. He swallowed hard and stepped back into pace beside the shorter boy before he did something he would regret. 

“I always thought you liked quiet moments,” were the only words that Sylvain could muster as his breath eluded him. 

“I do. It’s just that I’m too used to you blabbering on about stupid shit to find comfort in _your_ silence.”

That was probably the sweetest thing Felix would ever say to him. With mirth dancing in his eyes, Sylvain murmured in a teasing tone, “since you like it so much, I’ll never stop talking, _just for you_ ,” accompanied by a pleasant laugh that flowed out effortlessly. _So_ effortless, in fact, that he was somewhat shocked. It made him realize that he’d been laughing and smiling around Felix in a way that he never did with others. As he gazed over at his friend, he wondered if the same applied to him; how many things did Felix do in his presence that no one else had the pleasure of ever seeing? The thought that they had found a safe and exclusive place in each other seemed to placate his unruly heart. 

Bravely, even after Felix roughly elbowed his side because of his cheeky answer, Sylvain leaned in and hung an arm around Felix’s shoulders in an attempt to discreetly satiate the urge to hug him. This time, Felix didn’t flinch or look away, which caused a welcoming warmth to curl in his chest. Walking like that slowed them down considerably which Sylvain had no problem with, but Felix absolutely did. After a heavenly minute of being fitted together perfectly, they broke away from each other. It left Sylvain wanting more, but he had to settle for periodically nudging and leaning against Felix for the rest of the walk. 

By the time they reached the center of town around noon, Sylvain’s voice was raspy from recounting old stories and memories, and these were only briefly interrupted to hear a rare response from Felix. There were also quiet moments where Sylvain’s words died in his throat; his mind too enraptured by how Felix darted his eyes away and covered his mouth whenever he smiled or laughed. In those moments, he was more than content. Eventually, their conversation had to come to an end because of how crowded it got.

Sylvain led Felix through winding pathways filled with stalls and people, nervously checking behind him every second to make sure his friend was still there. Even though it was adorable, it didn’t help that Felix would waver with every stray cat they passed by. It would’ve been much easier to navigate in the crowd if he just grabbed Felix’s hand, but he definitely wasn’t emotionally prepared for that. Sylvain Jose Gautier, the infamous flirt who had many other aliases that were far from flattering, was too nervous to _hold hands_ with someone. Thankfully, they were able to slip out of the sea of people and came to a rest in front of a very familiar bakery. The elderly lady working at the front cheerfully greeted Sylvain, and suddenly, it was like a switch had flicked on in his head.

“You’re looking as lovely as always,” Sylvain practically crooned at her, quickly making his way over to her with a dazzling smile. As he lifted her hand up to kiss it, she laughed and ruffled his fluffy hair with the other, familiar with his antics. He came here nearly every time he was in town and she began recognizing his face. She _also_ noticed that he would constantly show up with a different person every time, sometimes even twice in the same day. Sylvain was grateful that she’d never commented on it despite seeing it happen so often.

“I haven’t seen you here in a while,” She dotingly patted his cheek as he smiled at her apologetically. He hadn’t come into town for a week because he was completely hung up on Felix, so it must have been concerning when his frequent visits stopped abruptly. She tilted her head curiously for a moment to look at something past him, and when Sylvain followed her warm gaze, it led to Felix. He muttered a quick greeting, but was watching the scene unfold with a displeased look, lifting a brow when their eyes met as if to say, ‘really?’ 

Suddenly remembering who was watching, Sylvain laughed nervously and turned back to the lady. Clasping their hands together, he sweetly asked, “could I get two croissants?” and she stepped back behind the counter to bag up the pastries. Sylvain darted back to Felix afterward. He needed to explain himself if he wanted to avoid a misunderstanding.

Before he could even open his mouth, Felix sighed, “I can’t believe you. This is Ingrid’s grandmother all over again.”

“That was _once_ , and you guys never let go of it!” Sylvain groaned as he ran a hand down his face in frustration. “This is just where I come to buy pastries, okay? That little old lady is a sweetheart and gives me extras, so I just kind of lay it on thick.”

“I’m going to be _merciful_ , and not count this against our little challenge,” Felix shook his head slightly, but there was a faint trace of a smile on his lips. “It was… interesting to see. I might even call it pleasant. But that aside, you really spout all that flowery bullshit to get what you want, huh?”

“How did you manage to make that sound so bad?” Sylvain gawked at him. “It’s called _common decency_ , but I guess you wouldn’t know much about that, huh?”

The most unimpressed stare was being directed at him. “Was saying, _‘hey there, baby, need some help drying off?’_ common decency?”

It was so incredibly surreal to hear one of his lines being uttered by Felix that he nearly wasn’t able to comprehend it. Before Sylvain could poke fun at how the word ‘baby’ was said with enough malice to make a child cry, he realized something that made his face warm up in embarrassment. “Was that what I said to _you?_ ”

“Yes, you absolute whore. I still can’t believe you said that.” Felix scowled, a slight blush crawling up from his neck as he recounted the scene at the entrance hall again. “Do you really just hit on people like that? I’ve been around when you went off to flirt with someone, but this was just ridiculous.”

“Not usually? I don’t know what came over me, if I’m honest.” An uneasy feeling made Sylvain’s stomach churn as he tried to figure out the best response. He really didn’t know what spurred him on to approach Felix that rainy night. Even under normal circumstances he wouldn’t go so out of his way to hit on someone like that, so it made him wonder if it really was just an accident. Thinking back on it now, it seemed extremely unlikely that he wouldn’t recognize Felix even with his face obscured; they’ve practically been glued at the hip since they were toddlers. He supposed that even as a kid he’d admired Felix’s long silky hair and his small, lean frame, so he may have been aware that the person at the end of the hall was Felix to some degree. This just troubled him even more. 

Just then, the lady called out to Sylvain with a small paper bag in hand. Thank the Goddess; he had no idea how what to say without provoking another gut punch reaction. He handed her a couple of coins and thanked her with a wink before leading Felix out. When he opened the bag to grab a croissant, he saw that the lady had snuck in two fruit tarts. He held it up to Felix, partly to brag and partly to stop further discussion about their little incident. “See? This is what you get when you’re _nice and polite_ to people.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can get a lot when you _flatter_ people like that.” Felix stuck his hand in the bag Sylvain was gently cradling and pulled out a croissant, all while shooting him a look that he immediately understood to mean a word Felix constantly called him. Sylvain didn’t know how Felix managed to call him that with just the intonation and look, but it was equally impressive that he actually understood it.

“Felix, my beloved friend. I’m so sorry, but if you think that kissing the back of someone’s hand is _whoreish_ , I pity you.”

They kept bickering as Sylvain slowly led Felix to the next location. The marketplace. Truthfully, if he could, he would much rather be in a place without any girls to insure his victory. It wasn’t that he thought his eyes would drift to anyone other than Felix because that was just unfeasible by this point, but he _was_ a little worried about running into an ex or something. Sylvain really didn’t want Felix to see one of his petty ‘lovers’ quarrels because there was a lot on the line. He wanted to keep making these trips into town with Felix, and maybe, if he could convince his stubborn friend, other locations that Felix chose for them instead. He sighed and rubbed his neck once he realized what he was mulling over; he didn’t even know how to navigate his feelings yet, much less _tell_ Felix about them, and he was already daydreaming about future dates. 

When Sylvain came to a stop in front of a merchant selling clothes, he slipped in front of Felix with a sly smile. “We might need to buy you a couple more things to wear. Unless… you’re planning on borrowing from me for the rest of your life? Personally, I don’t have a problem with that, but I imagine you do.”

Felix looked at him incredulously. “I _do_ have a problem with that, but do you really want to spend an hour sifting through outfits again? Is that really what you want?” 

Yes. “No.” After walking away, they passed by a blacksmith and Felix faltered. Sylvain gave him a disapproving look, smirking as he whispered, “when I win, you can come back here the _next_ time I take you into town.” He got slapped on the back of his head for that. 

As the day went on, he somehow felt bolder and more nervous at the same time. He took every chance to pester a smile out of the boy next to him with a stutter in his chest; Felix was slowly easing up and it was just too good to let it go to waste. It was a little embarrassing to say, but Sylvain’s face hurt from smiling and laughing so much that he even lifted his hand to rub the sore muscles in his face. As he happily walked beside Felix, it occurred to him that there was no use worrying about what how he would deal with this later. He would much rather spend his time cherishing every second of this date with Felix, even if the other boy didn’t know it. It would be a problem for tomorrow.

It was nearly evening when they both decided to take a break at a fountain, legs delightfully sore from exploring. The crowd had thinned out as merchants packed up their goods for the next day. Bathed in the warm sky, Sylvain sat cross-legged on the rocks and turned toward Felix, who sat with a leg folded on the surface with the other hanging down near the water. Sylvain watched with absolute adoration glinting in his eyes as Felix animatedly talked about a cat, who they’d spent 30 minutes petting in an alleyway. It took him years to get Felix to talk like that, and yet the cat managed to do it in a minute; Sylvain never knew he could get so jealous. When Felix realized just how much he’d gone on about it, his face flushed slightly, and he clammed up again. It was quite the sight; hiding his eyes behind a few locks of his dark hair, bashfully blushing like a maiden, all under the soft and dissipating sunlight. All of this thoroughly wrecked Sylvain’s heart.

As the conversation lulled to a comfortable silence, Sylvain realized he was exhausted in the best kind of way; the one where he just knew he would fall asleep soundly the moment he hit the bed. Humming contently to himself, he let his tired eyes close as he leaned back with his arms propping him up, enjoying the warmth of the setting sun.

“Sylvain?”

“Hm?” lazily opened his eyes and smiled at Felix. 

“I… uh, I think I saw that cat again.”

Now that the hustle and bustle of people were gone, some stray cats had begun wandering in and out of the alleys, much to Felix’s poorly hidden excitement. Sylvain chuckled at the childlike wonder in his eyes; it had been so long since he saw Felix like that, so it was unbelievable how many times he had seen this expression that day. It felt like a blessing. “I’m tired so I’ll wait here for a while, Fe. You can go see the cats.” Felix gave him a glare with much less bite than usual at the nickname, but he didn’t object. Sylvain watched in amusement as Felix scurried after the cat into an alley not too far from him. Not much time passed before he heard footsteps approaching him, but he didn’t bother to look, thinking Felix was finally back.

“Sylvain?” 

His eyes shot open. That was not Felix.

Sylvain’s gaze met with a girl that looked somewhat familiar. She clearly knew who he was, however, and was clearly furious with him. The bet he had with Felix impatiently tugged at the back of his mind, but he had to push it aside. “Hey… how, uh, how have you been?”

“You don’t even remember my name, do you?” Sylvain inwardly cringed at her accusation. It was terrible, but he really didn’t know. Tears started prickling in the corners of her eyes as Sylvain awkwardly and slowly lowered his legs off the fountain’s stones. “Are you here with _another_ girl?”

“No, no,” Sylvain replied with a nervous laugh, completely forgetting how he usually handled these situations. Though, his usual way was probably to bullshit his way through it, which he didn’t have the energy for. “I do… have to get going now, though. It was great seeing you again?”

He saw her hands curl up into fists and his eyes widened. Oh, Goddess, no. It was unfortunate to say, but he got hit _a lot_ during these confrontations. Most of them were well deserved. However, rather than hit him, the girl began tearfully yelling at him about the things he had supposedly done. He really didn’t remember those either. Suddenly, a group of girls that had been walking by all stopped to listen to the commotion, eyes slowly lighting up with recognition and animosity as she detailed his misdeeds.

“Wait, isn’t that the guy who cheated on you?”

Sylvain made a run for it.

He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he needed to lose them in the winding roads between buildings. Without thinking, he headed into the same alley Felix disappeared into. A breathless grunt escaped him when he realized he could be leading them straight to Felix, but the cacophony of footsteps behind him told him there was no turning back now. He took a couple of sharp corners, slowly gaining some distance between them, but the next one caused him to crash into someone. They tumbled to the ground and the other person grunted as a bag was knocked out of their hands. Sylvain quickly scampered up, profusely apologizing when he realized it was Felix. The dark-haired boy picked up the bag he’d dropped and got back on his feet with an annoyed huff. “What the hell are you doing?”

Sylvain roughly grabbed Felix’s shoulder and frantically whispered, “I’m being chased. We need to go.”

His friend opened his mouth to undoubtedly demand an explanation, but he was cut off with a distant chorus of angry girls yelling Sylvain’s name. The look Felix had on his face was a mixture of disappointment and anger, but Sylvain didn’t have the time to beg for forgiveness, so he settled on a pitiful expression instead. Much to his surprise, Felix lifted Sylvain’s hand off his shoulder and squeezed it tight. “You _whore_ ,” Felix sighed, tucking the bag he was holding under his other arm. “You’re such a pain. What am I ever going to do with you?”

Suddenly, Sylvain was being pulled along the alleyway with Felix’s hand firmly in his. His focus should’ve been on getting away, but he couldn’t calm his erratic mind screaming at the contact he’d been longing for all day. He didn’t know where they were going, but in that moment he couldn’t care less. All he could think about the warm grasp that was refusing to let go no matter how much of a dead weight he was. Hand in hand, they ran for so long that even Felix, the boy who trained tirelessly every day, was breathing laboriously. The sound of their pursuers slowly fizzled out, but they just kept running.

Finally, they came to a stop past the town entrance and off to the side of the road, collapsing onto the soft, grassy ground. Felix hadn’t planned to crumple onto his knees, but Sylvain took him down with him when he sprawled out on the ground in a breathless heap. Sylvain’s eyes were a little bleary as his lungs desperately tried to supply him with air, but they were still affixed onto Felix, who looked as if he’d just lost a fight to the wind. For quite a while, all that could be heard was the sound of their strained breathing. As they tried to recover, Felix leaned in over Sylvain’s face to look down at him with an inscrutable expression, loose hair cascading down all around him to form the most gorgeous view Sylvain had ever seen. After a shocked second spent gaping at the boy hovering over him, Sylvain let out a pained moan along with a breathless laugh. “Oh, Goddess, no. Don’t-Don’t look at me right now, Fe. My lungs have suffered enough for today.” 

“Your lungs?” Felix’s brows furrowed together, lips drawing themselves into a tight frown. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but-“

Suddenly, Sylvain was startled back to reality with the sting of a slap across the face. He stared, slack jawed, at his friend who was gingerly shaking off the pain in his own hand. “What the hell was that for? I’m delicate!”

“That’s for being a slut,” Felix muttered with an unimpressed look. “I thought you weren’t going to pull this kind of shit today.”

“It was just a coincidence, Felix, I swear!” He brought his hands up to cover his face, exasperated with himself, when he realized that one was still locked onto Felix’s. They noticed at the same time and let go as if they’d just been shocked. Felix stared down at his hand, cradling it with his other with an uncertain look. Clearing his throat slightly, Sylvain peered up at the face above him and asked in a small and raspy voice, “were you serious about not coming back here with me if I lost?”

“Yes.”

Sylvain’s heart sank. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“How did you _not_ see this kind of thing coming?” Felix’s face was pulled into a scowl as he glared down at Sylvain. “You do realize that this is a direct consequence of you fucking around, right? You can’t just toy with people’s emotions like that. You can’t-“ He let out a weary sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezing shut. “You can’t just make someone care about you then leave when you’re bored. You can’t expect them to be fine with that.”

“Felix?” Sylvain clumsily pulled himself back up to a sitting position, an unsure hand lingering in the small space between them. “I don’t understand, I-are you talking about us?“ he hesitated when Felix’s eyes opened to a piercing glare but continued when he realized that the other boy was more upset than angry. “I never _left_ you.”

“Bullshit,” When Felix spat this out, Sylvain felt a lurch in his chest and quickly retracted his hand. “You couldn’t even bother looking in my direction after-“ he took a sharp intake of breath as he grimaced, pulling his knees up to his chest and crossing his arms over them. “Sure, you were next to me, but you weren’t _there_. You might as well have left. Honestly, it would’ve been better if you’d just wandered off completely. Instead, I had to watch you trail after every woman in sight, and watch you nonchalantly walk back to me as if nothing had happened. I tried to get away from you after that, but Goddess be damned if you weren’t persistent. I never understood why you always came back despite it all.”

“Because it’s you, Felix. We’ve been next to each other, for what, our entire lives?” Sylvain swallowed hard, his voice becoming thick with emotion. “I’m… an idiot, but one thing I’m always sure of is that you _are_ a part of my life. I trust you more than anyone else in the world. It’s just… after Glenn died, you started keeping everyone at an arms-length. I wanted to be there by your side, but I just didn’t know how. And… this is going to sound embarrassing, but you stopped _looking_ at me like you did when we were kids. You used to look at me with so much… tenderness. It left me… a little lost without it. Though, that’s not an excuse for what I did for so many years. I guess after that, I was just trying to find that fondness from somewhere else.”

Felix had buried his head in his arms, and Sylvain watched as the same sad, glassy eyes from his childhood gazed back at him through dark locks of hair. “And? Did you ever find it?” 

“ _Never_.” It was spoken so softly that the gentle evening breeze nearly drowned it out. “I never found it anywhere else.”

For a while, Felix simply studied his features with an incredulous look. He bit his lip, deep in thought, before finally looking away. With his face turned to the side, he quietly asked, “so what do we do now? We’re still… friends, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Sylvain felt a bittersweet jolt in his chest, but shoved it back down. “Felix, that’s not even a question.”

A pair of tired eyes flickered up to meet his. “I don’t know. Things are different now.” Felix’s voice lowered to a tentative murmur. He was right. Things were different and neither of them knew how to move about after being thrust into unknown territory. Sylvain, with a lump in his throat, moved to the spot next to Felix and sat down. Their shoulders were pressed together as he tried to find his words. After not talking about things like this for so long, he had to fight for every word he wanted to say, but he had an idea that could make it easier.

“Fe, I’m going to tell you a little story so just bear with me, alright?” The other boy cast him a sidelong glance to show that he was listening, and Sylvain felt a nervous smile pull at his lips as his heart screamed distractingly. “Say I have this friend-“

“You’ve lost me.”

“Wow! _Very funny_.” The corners of Felix’s mouth tugged up slightly, lightening the mood slightly as Sylvain continued. “Anyway, say I have this one friend who is a bit of a flirt. He’d gotten into plenty of trouble because of it, but it never deterred him. But one day, this asshole mistook his friend for someone else and hit on him.”

“Sounds like a dumbass.”

“He is. It was a ridiculous situation that was so easily avoidable. But…” a slight panic was causing Sylvain to struggle while talking again, so he had to pause to clear his throat. “it caused him to see his friend, who’d been by his side his entire life, in a new light. Something changed and he realized that he… what he felt toward his friend was _different._ He couldn’t quite figure it out, but he knew he wanted that friend to feel the same way.”

He peered over nervously and met Felix’s eyes, but Sylvain broke their gaze almost immediately because he got flustered. They stayed quiet for a long time afterward, both mulling things over in their heads as they leaned up against each other. Eventually, Felix sighed deeply and turned his head to Sylvain. “I’ll never understand how you can bring yourself to say such sappy things.”

“Believe me when I say I’m dying inside with every word I utter right now.” Sylvain lightly pushed the other boy’s shoulder with his, chuckling quietly. Suddenly, Felix’s hand came to rest on the side of his face, turning his head. All Sylvain could do was watch on in shock as the dark-haired boy’s exasperated expression came into view. Felix drew in closer, impatient eyes flickering down then up.

“Then don’t _talk_.”

Felix leaned in and hesitantly brushed his lips against Sylvain’s, who could only watch as his beloved friend bridged the gap that had been present for so long between them. It was quite possibly the most unsure kiss he’d ever shared in his life, but his heart didn’t seem to care as it threatened to give out. Much to Sylvain’s dismay, less than a second passed before Felix pulled back. He blinked dumbfoundedly, hands frozen on the other boy’s waist.

“Why the fuck did you have your eyes open?”

The minor verbal abuse snapped Sylvain out of whatever trance he was in, and he quickly placed a hand behind Felix’s head to desperately urge him back in for another kiss. His other hand came to rest on the small of his back as their lips met again. This time, Felix didn’t immediately pull away; he wrapped an arm around Sylvain’s shoulder to press even closer, a hand running through the redhead’s hair before cupping the side of his face. They practically melted into the other’s hold, relieved that their feelings were reciprocated. Relieved that they still had each other after all these years of turmoil. Even after their kiss ended to catch their breath, they didn’t let go of each other.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Sylvain broke the silence unceremoniously with a breath of incredulous laughter. “I can’t believe you did that.” He was practically shaking as he finally, _finally_ , held Felix in his arms, running his fingers through his long, dark hair.

“Yeah. I have to do all the work around here, huh?” Felix scoffed, but leaned into Sylvain’s touch. His hair was already disheveled before, but with Sylvain’s needy hands, the tie holding the last few locks of hair was completely gone. Sylvain kept absentmindedly fiddling with Felix’s hair, arm still tightly holding them together when the other boy hummed amusedly. Curious, he stopped for a moment to meet Felix’s eyes. He smirked at Sylvain, although it didn’t carry the usual level of smugness, and chuckled, “I guess you lost?” The realization hit Sylvain and he let out a soft, but disappointed, ‘noooooo.’ 

“Fe,” his reactions to the nickname had melted down to just an eye roll, so Sylvain took that as an okay to use constantly. Sylvain then effortlessly pulled Felix onto his lap, much to his chagrin, and began peppering in small kisses along Felix’s jaw and neck. He felt Felix shiver, so he pulled back with an innocent look. “Forgive me, please.” 

A pleased smile appeared on Sylvain’s face when Felix pulled away to cover his mouth, seeming to come slightly undone. He noticed that Felix was rubbing the spot he’d just kissed, and he remembered how the dark-haired boy had done the exact same thing when they inadvertently touched each other earlier that day. It finally occurred to him that Felix may have been getting flustered by the contact as well, which was just adorable. When he eagerly went to tease Felix again, he was stopped with a light smack to side of his head. Felix rolled his eyes at Sylvain’s pout and muttered, “even though you didn’t win I still got you something to… show my appreciation for today.” He turned to his side and seemed to rustle with the bag that had been knocked to the ground earlier, then he threw it onto Sylvain’s chest. 

Sylvain lifted the lump of fabric to his face, and a guttural wheeze escaped him when he realized what it was. “Oh, oh no. Felix. I’m _so_ sorry,” was all he could manage before helplessly clutching his side and laughing. He heard a frustrated noise from above.

“What’s so funny?”

“I just…” Sylvain was breathless again, desperately trying to keep it together. He held up the gift toward Felix. “I don’t actually like these. I just wanted to see you in it.”

“I fucking _knew_ it!” Another round of laughter coursed through him as clutched onto the turtleneck. Felix fumed, a pretty blush settling on his cheeks. “I fucking _knew_ you wouldn’t wear something that covered your collarbones, you dick!”

“Woah!” Sylvain was wrestling back Felix’s hands again, but they were much less forceful than last time. “I thought you’d look good in them! And I was right!”

They struggled for a while, but Sylvain took an opening to wrap his arms around Felix’s waist to pull him in for another kiss. Felix seemed to caught a little off guard by it, initially freezing when he felt Sylvain’s smile against his lips, but he quickly adjusted and kissed him back. When they pulled away and he realized that Sylvain had effectively pacified him with a kiss, he scowled. “Just know that I’m going to make you wear this even if it means carving it into a V-neck while it’s on you.”

It was odd how Sylvain considered these threats to be endearing, but that was because he knew now, more than ever, that Felix found comfort in his presence. He couldn’t believe how long he’d spend reeling from the barrage of emotions he felt toward Felix, the person he’d promised as a child to stay beside forever. He was happy to have realized it now, and more than happy to uphold that promise. Sylvain chuckled quietly, lips barely grazing the crook of Felix’s neck as he realized just how long he had already been utterly devoted to the boy in his arms. Grinning, he leaned back to plant a quick kiss on Felix’s lips before he whispered, “have I ever told you that you’re _hot_ when you’re angry?”

“ _I’m never fucking kissing you again._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, a gay, experiencing intense one-sided pining: "how shall we deal with this today bebes????? oh, that's right, Let's melodramatically project onto beloved characters. That'll do it"
> 
> Thank you for reading this little self indulgent thing! This was honestly so fun to write which might be why it got so long? like the second part is more than double the size of the first one wow (also did you know sleeveless turtlenecks are a thing? I'd die if I saw someone in that, but like in a good way)

**Author's Note:**

> should be updated in 2 weeks (although it's finals season so it might drag into 3, but i promise it will not take any longer than that)! let's just hope to god that this doesn't get longer than the last one. I get hella second hand embarrassment so just know I'm dying every time i have to write the slightest awkward or romantic situation.  
> Then why do I write romance fics, you ask? I don't know and I honestly cannot tell you


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